science

A LONGER SHORT STORY TO TELL

2011-05-08T01:31:00.000-07:00

LINK TO THE EDITED VERSION OF MY SHORT STORY. ADDED A FEW STUFF AND I WONDER IF IT WAS NECESSARY. WELL IT'S MY FIRST SO CUT ME SOME SLACK. ANYWAY! ILL BE TAKING A CREATIVE WRITING WORKSHOP THIS WEEK SO GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. OK WHO AM I TALKING TO? HEHEHE

http://www.keepandshare.com/doc/2795471/cocounbecomes-pdf-may-8-2011-4-01-pm-54k?da=y

A SHORT STORY TO TELL

2010-05-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

LINK TO A SHORT STORY I WROTE A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO

http://www.keepandshare.com/doc/2795447/coco-unbecomes-a-man-short-pdf-may-8-2011-3-55-pm-46k?da=y

"TIME CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS"

2008-07-10T10:11:00.000-07:00

TIME HAS PASSED. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE COMFORTING TO HEAR
BUT TIME DOES NOT HEAL US
TIME HAS PASSED BECAUSE THAT'S NATURE THE OF IT
THE WHOLE POINT OF TIME IS TO MAKE US BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING STRONGER OR OLDER OR MAYBE EVEN WISER BY THE MINUTE OR THROUGH THE YEARS, YOU KNOW?
BUT THE HOURGLASS HAD BEEN TIPPED OVER.
IT COULD BE THE 26OOOTH TIME IT'S BEEN TIPPED OVER TODAY,
BUT THE TRUTH IS YOURE STILL IN THAT VERY SAME STATE,
ON THAT ONE FINE DAY OF DAYS YOU BEGAN BELIEVING IT.
AND YOU WOULDN'T NOTICE A DAMN THING BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY
HOPING THAT TIME WILL HEAL YOU.
WELL. IVE HAD IT WITH THIS TIME BULLSHIT.
THERE'S NO SENSE IN DEPENDING ON SOMETHING THAT ISN'T CONCRETE.
I MEAN WHEN IS THE ACTUAL TIME?
WHEN DOES IT START WHEN DOES IT END?
TIME DOESNT CARE ABOUT US
AS WE ARE ALL MERELY CHARACTERS IN ITS FLUX. IF YOU CAN'T CATCH UP IT JUST LEAVES YOU THERE, SORT OF PROMISING TO GET BACK AT YOU. THEN YOU WAKE UP AND YOU'RE SIXTY SEVEN YEARS OLD IN SOME HOSPITAL BED, CANCER SPREADING AND ALL,
WITH NO ONE TO READ YOU A BOOK
NO ONE TO REARRANGE THE FLOWERS ON THE SIDE TABLE...
AND SUDDENLY YOU REALIZE THROUGH A SERIES OF FLASHBACKS OLD DYING FOLKS USUALLY ENCOUNTER IN THEIR DREAMS, THAT TIME HAS NOT HEALED YOU.
WHY DO WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO SURRENDER IN DEPENDENCY TO TIME?
IF THERE'S ANYTHING AT ALL TO DEPEND ON, DEPEND ON HUMAN NATURE.
IT IS THE ONLY THING TO BE TRUSTED.
THE ONLY THING OUT THERE THAT IS REALLY USEFUL.
IT IS THAT WHICH BROUGHT YOU DOWN
AND FROM IT SHALL YOU PUT YOURSELF BACK UP.
OR I DONT KNOW. MAYBE TIME'S JUST A GUN IN OUR HEADS.
THE THOUGHT OF IT WEAKENS US.
IT FRIGHTENS US TO THE BONE.
BUT AFTER SO MANY TIMES OF PEEPING, GUESSING IF WE'D MADE IT,
WE BEGIN TO REALIZE THAT A GUN'S JUST A GUN UNLESS SOMEONE ACTS UPON IT.
AND TIME'S JUST A COUPLE OF SECONDS AND MINUTES THAT WE TURN INTO LIFETIMES AND YEARS.
WITHOUT THE WILL OF THE HAND TO PULL (OR NOT PULL) THAT TRIGGER
WITHOUT THE WILL OF HAND
WITHOUT THE WILL OF HEART
EITHER WE ARE SENT BACK ON OUR WAY,
OR WE ARE SENT TO OUR GRAVES

SUBTLEMADNESS

2008-05-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

THERE ARE THOSE THAT CAST SHADOWS
BITS AND PIECES OF MADNESSES SCATTERED IN THE DUNGEONS OF THE MIND
AND IVE WAITED HERE FOR LONG LONG YEARS TO BRING BACK THE GRACE THAT IVE LOST
FOR THOUGH GRACE AND LIFE ARE BUT ONE
IT IS STILL SO THAT IVE LOST BOTH
WAITING FOR NOTHING COULD GET TO YOUR MIND
AND I AM CRADLED INTO SLUMBER IN THIS THIN SILVER LINE
NOW MY MADNESS HAS TAKEN ITS TOLL
LIFE'S FLED FAR FAR AWAY.
SERENADED BY WHISPERS AND CRIES
OF LULLABIES
LONGING TO PUT MY HEART TO SLEEP.

WHAT BECOMES OF ME?

ISNT LOVE AND LIFE ONE?
THEN I THINK TO MYSELF
IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW
WHERE THE FURY OF MY MADNESS TAKES ME
WHERE I WILL GO
WHETHER OR NOT A HEART COULD BE WARM
IN THE ARCTIC WIND
IT'S NOW OR NEVER
BECAUSE IF NOT,I KNOW ILL NEVER FIND LOVE AGAIN
MAY YOU
LET ME
FIND YOU.

I WILL FIND YOU.

MAKUHA KA SA TINGIN

2008-03-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

HINDI LAHAT AY NAKUKUHA SA TINGIN...
ANG MGA TALA SA PAGSAPIT NG DAPITHAPON AY PASILANG NA.
ARAW ARAW MONG INAABANGAN ANG PAGSIBOL NG KARIKTAN SA MUNDO.
SA LANGIT, ANG BIYAYA NG KULAY AY NAGSISIMULA SA PAGLUBOG NG ARAW:
GINTO LILA KAHEL. NAKIKIPAGTALIK SA DILIM.
MABILIS ANG TAKBO NG ORAS-
KUMURAP KA SA PAGTULOG NG ARAW AT
PAGMULAT MO'Y SINALUBONG NA ANG DILIM NG GABI.
ANG MGA TALANG WALA SA UMAGA AY NGAYO'Y MISTULANG BUHAY--
BUHAY NA BUHAY SA KINANG NG MILYON MILYONG DIAMANTE,
AT SA PAGTINGALA MOY HINDI NAKAYANANG TARUKIN ANG PAGKAPERPEKTO NG LINIKHANG SINING.
SAMANTALA,
SA GITNA NG LAHAT
ANG SANDAANG PANGARAP NA NAKABALOT SA BULALAKAW
AY SUMABAY SA KANYANG PAGBAGSAK.
SAN KAYA SILA NAGPUNTA?
TINGNAN MO ANG OBRA MAESTRA NG LANGIT!
ANG GANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
O BA'T DI MO SUMUBUKANG MALUHA SA KAGANDAHANG GAWA NG KAMAY NG IYONG DIYOS?
O DI KAYAY UMIYAK HANGGAT SA MATUYUAN KA NG LUHA SA ALAALA NG KATOTOHANAN NG BUHAY:
MAY MGA BAGAY SA MUNDO NA HINDI NAKUKUHA SA TINGIN.

YEAR ENDER/WELL WISHES FOR THE NEW YEAR

2007-12-31T19:00:00.000-08:00

YOU HAVE FIVE MORE HOURS TO LIVE OFF YOUR REMAINING LIFE. OR END IT, IF YOU WILL. MAY A PAST INFESTED BLOOD FLOW FOR THE LAST TIME AND CIRCULATE YOUR SYSTEM AND MAY YOUR LIFE END TONIGHT UNDER THE DARKNESS THAT TOO IS HEADING ITS DEATH. MAY YOU BE ALIVE AT THIS POINT AND BE ALIVE NO MORE BEFORE YOU WAKE. FOR IT IS 7 PM ON THE CHILL OF THE 31ST OF DECEMBER AND TOMORROW WHEN YOU WAKE UP FROM YOUR SLEEP, REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE NOT MERELY JUST WOKEN UP FROM A STATE OF PERIODIC UNCONSCIOUSNESS AND SLUMBER, BUT YOU HAVE RESURRECTED, FROM A SILENT LOSS OF LIFE THAT CAME ALONG WITH THE CLOSING OF A YEAR. THEREFORE I WISH YOU TONIGHT A PERFECTLY CRAFTED DEATH. BECAUSE TOMORROW YOU ARE A PHOENIX. OR A cHRIST, IF YOU WILL.

DARK TRUTH

2007-10-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

DARKNESS IS A COMPLICATED PRETENTIOUS THING. IT COULD EITHER CONCEAL THE TRUTH IN PITCH BLACK VOIDS OR SHOW YOU TRUTH'S TRUE FORM- A PITCH BLACK VOID A BLANK A MYSTERY. IT SUDDENLY OCCURS TO YOU THAT TRUTH IS THERE: TRUTH UNTOUCHED, ONLY WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES

DESPITE THAT

2007-10-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

THE STARS MESMERIZE ME
HOW THEY KNOW THEIR PLACE IN THE VASTNESS OF THE SKY...
THE EARTH BELOW IT TURNS
THE MOON SHE CHANGES TIDES
THE SUN HE ENDS OUR TIME BUT
BUT O THE STARS...THEYRE JUST FIXED UP THERE
STUCK EVEN UPON THE MOVEMENT OF THE UNIVERSE.
STARS ALWAYS MESMERIZE ME. MAY I LIKE THEM SHINE ON DESPITE DEATH AND DARKNESS.

SA PAGPAPATULOY NG PAGIBIG

2006-07-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

MANGYARI LAMANG AY TUMAYO
ANG MGA NAGMAMAHAL
NANG MAKITA NG LAHAT
ANG KAGANDAHAN NG MUKHA NG PAG-IBIG
IPAMALAS ANG TAMIS
NG MALALIM NA PAGKAKAUNAWAAN
SA MGA MALABO ANG PANINGIN

MANGYARI LAMANG AY TUMAYO RIN
ANG MGA NAGMAHAL AT NASAWI
NANG MAKITA NG LAHAT
ANG MGA SUGAT NG ISANG BAYANI
IPADAMA ANG PAIT NG KABIGUAN HABANG IPINAGBUBUNYI
ANG WALANG TULAD NA KAGITINGAN
NG ISANG NAGTAYA

MANGYARI LAMANG AY TUMAYO
ANG MGA NANGANGAMBANG MAGMAHAL
NANG MAKITA NG LAHAT
ANG KILOS NG ISANG BATA
IPAMALAS ANG KATAPATAN NG DAMDAMIN
NA PILIT IKINUKUBLI
NG PUSONG LUMAKI SA MGA ENGKANTO AT DIWATA

MANGYARI LAMANG AY TUMAYO
ANG MGA NAGMAHAL, MINAHAL, AT INIWAN
NGUNIT HANDA PA RING MAGMAHAL
NANG MAKITA NG LAHAT ANG YAMAN NG KARANASAN
IPAMALAS ANG MGA KATOTOHANANG NASAKSIHAN
NANG MAGING MAKAHULUGAN
ANG MGA PAGHAGULGOL SA DILIM

AT SA MGA NANANATILING NAKAUPO
MANGYARI LAMANG AY DAHAN-DAHANG TUMALILIS
PAPALABAS SA NAKANGANGANG PINTO
UMUWI NA KAYO
AT SUMBATAN ANG MGA MAGULANG
NA NAGPALAKI NG HALIMAW.

AT SA LAHAT NG NAIWANG NAKATAYO
MANGYARI LAMANG AY HAGKAN ANG ISA’T-ISA
AT YAKAPIN ANG MGA SUGATAN
MABUHAY KAYONG LAHAT
NA NAGSISIKAP MAKABALIK SA ATING PINAGMULAN
MANATILING MASAYA
AT HIGIT SA LAHAT, MAGPATULOY
SA PAGMAMAHAL.

- TULA NI RICO ABELARDO

**DEAR DIAL I WAS SEARCHING ALMOST YEARNING FOR THIS YOU CAME JUST IN TIME THANKS FOR BRINGING THIS TO ME AGAIN IVE HAD TOO MUCH DOUBTS ALREADY YOU KNOW I WAS FEARING THAT I HAD LOST FAITH IN THE ONLY THING THAT DESERVES IT AND I WAS BEGINNING TO WANDER OFF TO THE DARKEST PARTS OF MY MIND ALMOST ACCUSING MYSELF OF IMAGINING THAT ABSTRACTION AND I WAS TRYING TO DENY MYSELF OF IT AS ONE WOULD SHUN THINGS THEY DONT DESERVE BUT THEN YOU CAME ALONG WITH THIS POEM AT THE RIGHT TIME AND THERER JUST SO MANY THINGS TO BELIEVE IN AGAIN BECAUSE I KNOW I STAND ('VE BEEN STANDING EVEN) HERE WITH CONVICTION FOR EVERY VERSE OF THAT POEM AND GOSH I KNOW AFTER I WRITE THIS EVERYTHING WILL GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS BUT AT LEAST FOR A GOOD FEW MINUTES ALL DARKNESS SURRENDERED TO THE TRUTH AND LIGHT OF THAT BEAUTIFUL SONG AND I TOO SURRENDER MYSELF TO THE PREEMINENCE OF LOVE, THAT BULLSHH OF A THING!! HEHE BIRO LANG

SA PAGHANAP NG NAWAWALANG LAKAS

2006-06-12T21:26:00.000-07:00

MINSAN AKALAY ALAKAY TUBIG ININOM NG ININOM NALUNOD AT NALASON SAKIT NG KAHAPOY BIGLANG BUMAON LUHAY TUMULO NALASAP ANG TAMIS PARA SA MGA PANGARAP NA IYONG IBINUWIS SALIKWAANG AMIHAN SAAN DINALA ANG PARAISONG MINIMITHI NG LAHAT? SA DILIM NG BUHAY MAWAWALA SA DAAN PANIWALAAN ANG PATNUBAY NG SARILING ILAW SA HULI ANG IYONG HINAHANAP AY MATAGAL NG NASA LOOB TUMINGIN SA SALAMIN DAHIL IYON ANG SAGOT. IKAW LAMANG AT WALA NG IBA HINDI KAILANGANG MAKIBAGAY PA BUHAY MO YAN HINDI SAKANILA ANO BANG ALAM NILA SA IYONG IKALILIGAYA ANG TUNAY NA PARAISO AY MADALING MAKAMIT GUMAWA KA NG SARILING LANDAS PAALIS KALAYAAN LANG ANG PARAISO MO TERAAAAA

THE ONE ON THE SAD SPACE

2006-05-09T00:07:00.000-07:00

IN STREETS WHERE FOUR PEOPLE FIT ALWAYS THERE IS AN EMPTY SPACE I HAVE WALKED IN THIS ROAD FOR QUITE A LONG TIME NOW SLOWLY THE COLD REPLACES WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SECURE EMBRACE SLOWLY THE MIST IN MY FLESH TAKES THE PLACE OF PASSIONATE SWEAT FROM THE PASSIONATE BINDING OF TWO SOULS TWO HEARTS TWO BODIES INTO ONE SLOWLY THE WIND READS LETTERS TO MY EAR. I HAVE BEEN IMAGINING. AS I WALK ON FURTHER I MEET DIFFERENT PEOPLE BUT THEY ARE EITHER TOO SMALL OR TOO BIG FOR THAT LONELY SPACE TO MY RIGHT. IS THE SPACE STUBBORN? OR IS SHE AFRAID? ALAS SHE LIES THERE TO MY RIGHT SOLITARY. SOMETIMES WEEPING, ACTING OBLIVIOUS. "WHERE IS THE PERFECT FIT?" I HEARD HER WHISPER ONCE TO HERSELF. WE PASSED BY A JESTER A MUSICIAN A VAMPIRE A TOAD YET NONE OF THEM WAS HE. I HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT MY NEEDS AND HERS WERE ONE, BUT IT SEEMED NOW THAT IT MEANT MORE FOR THE SPACE TO FIND SOMEONE THAN FOR ME TO FILL IN MY OWN EMPTINESS. THE JOURNEY I HAD WAS NO MORE SOMBRE THAN HERS FOR WE HAD NO ONE AND NOTHING SAVE FOR THE ROAD LEADING ON. SO THE SPACE...SHE WEPT EVERYDAY AND REFUSED TO EAT SHE DENIED HERSELF OF JOY AND LAUGHTER AND SHE GREW SO WEAK AND THIN THAT SHE COULD NO LONGER MOVE FORWARD. SUDDENLY, AS IF A MIRACLE, THE SUN BEGAN TO SHINE. AND IT HAD CASTED SHADOWS ON EVERYTHING THAT IT HAD TOUCHED. LATER ITS LIGHT FOUND ME AND TRAVELLED AROUND ME EVER SO SLOWLY UNTIL SHE HAD CASTED MY SHADOW. AND AS THE NATURE OF LIGHTS AND SHADOWS GO, HE FELL GRACEFULLY AND GENTLY AND PERFECTLY TO MY RIGHT... SO IN STREETS WHERE FOUR PEOPLE FIT, FOUR VOIDS ARE FILLED. THREE BY WOMEN AND MAN. AND THE FOURTH, BY THE SHADOW OF ANOTHER.

THE ONE ON PROOF

2006-02-06T04:26:00.000-08:00

TODAY WE WATCHED {PROOF} AND THE MOVIE LEFT US CLUELESS AND "DISPROVEN" THEN I WENT HOME TO THINK IT THROUGH THE MOVIE'S OBVIOUS CONCEPT CLIMAXES WHEN A MYSTERIOUS MATH PROOF REMAINS UNAUTHORIZED OKAY ONLY TWO PEOPLE COULD HAVE WRITTEN IT ANTHONY HOPKINS A COMPLETE GENIUS WHO DIED IN HIS INSANITY OR GWYNETH PALTROW HIS DAUGHTER WHO CLOSETED INHERITING HIS GENIUS OR MAYBE EVEN HIS CONDITION GWYNETH CLAIMS SHE WROTE IT BUT EVEN THOSE CLOSEST TO HER DOUBT THIS. THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE IT. THE MOVIE ENDS WITHOUT A RESOLUTION BECAUSE IT DIDN'T TELL US WHO EQUATED THE DAMN PROBLEM! BUT NOW I GET THE PURPOSE FOR THIS WHAT THE MOVIE TELLS US IS THAT WHILE WE TRY TO SOLVE MATHEMATICAL QUALMS EVERY DAY OF OUR LIVES TO COME UP WITH PRECISE ANSWERS TO PROVE THEORIES CORRECT, WE COME TO REALIZE THAT LIFE IS THE MOST COMPLEX EQUATION OF ALL AND NOT EVEN THE GENIUS OF GENIUSES COULD EVER BREAK IT DOWN TO A FINAL ANSWER WE TRY TO GET HOLD OF PROOFS FOR EVERYTHING IN THIS LIFE BUT IN LIFE SOMETIMES THEY REALLY DON'T EXIST WE WIL GO THROUGH ALL THESE TRIAL AND ERRORS AND AT THE END OF A LIFETIME REALIZE THAT THERE WAS NEVER A PROOF FOR IT AND PERHAPS THE REASON FOR THE ANONYMOUS MATHEMATICIAN IS TO TELL US THAT NO ONE CAN EVER PROVE THE COMPLEXITY AND THE GREATNESS OF THE EQUATION THAT IS LIFE

on the visions of goodbye

2006-01-10T23:26:00.000-08:00

"beyond the night sky, tomorrow is already waiting."

THE ONE ON THE ETERNAL MADNESS

2006-01-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

IN A FEW DAYS, HE WILL BE COMING BACK. I AM MORE THAN AFRAID TO SEE HIM BEFORE ME AND KNOW INSIDE THAT I CANNOT HAVE HIM. IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN A VICIOUS CYCLE COMING IN AND OUT OF MY LIFE AS IF IT'S THAT EASY TO HAVE HIM FOR A WHILE AND LET GO EVERY TIME. IS IT EMBARRASSING THAT I CRY WHEN I THINK OF US SEPARATED AND LONELY IN OUR OWN HOMES, SHOOTING QUESTIONS AT STARS HAVING NO ANSWERS AT ALL? I SPENT MY DAYS WITHOUT THE CERTAINTY OF ANYTHING DOING THINGS WITHOUT SECOND THOUGHTS. MAYBE BECAUSE OF THIS I HAVE EXPERIENCED MUCH PAIN OR MAYBE BECAUSE OF THIS IVE EXPERIENCED HOW IT IS TO LIVE. WELL LIFE I SUPPOSE THERE ARE NO CERTAINTIES TO IT. NO ONE HAS EVER KNOWN WHERE HE WAS GOING UNTIL HE GOT THERE. PERHAPS IT IS THROUGH JOURNEYING TO ALL THESE UNCERTAINTIES THAT WE SOMEHOW GET TO A CERTAIN POINT, AND THAT IS A GOOD DEAL BETTER THAN HAVING IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND DON'T YOU THINK? I'D SAY I HAD GONE THROUGH SO MUCH AND HAD SURVIVED BECAUSE OF A DREAM. I SPENT MY DAYS WITH THE DREAM OF HIM.

"I CAN'T MEASURE HOW MUCH PAIN I'VE GONE THROUGH WHEN HE LEFT. IT HAD BEEN A SILENT KIND OF PAIN ALL THIS TIME. BUT IT HAD BEEN GROWING INSIDE OF ME, AND I CAN HEAR IT EVERY TIME I AM ALONE. IN THE HEART, IN THE MIND, SCREAMING. IVE NEVER FELT SO WEAK. WHEN HE COMES BACK I WILL COMPENSATE FOR ALL MY SHORTCOMINGS AND EVEN IF IT IS FUTILE SINCE HE IS LEAVING ME AFTER ALL, I KNOW IT WILL GIVE ME PEACE AND WITH THAT ILL BE ABLE TO MOVE ON. MOVE ON AND WAIT IF EVER THAT'S POSSIBLE. I WILL LEAVE THIS CHAPTER OPEN AND THIS COULD BE A NEVER ENDING STORY FOR ALL I CARE. HE SAYS MOVE ON AND NEVER COME BACK. WELL I'M NOT SURE OF ANYTHING AT ALL, BUT AS OF THE DAY WE MET UP TO THIS DAY AND UNTIL MY FUTURE COMES, I KNOW THAT THOUGH HE IS GONE HE IS NEVER LOST. NOR WILL HE EVER BE JUST A FRAGMENT OF MY PAST. HE WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN MY DREAMS AND MY TEARS WILL NEVER DRY UP FOR HIM"

I REMEMBER SAYING THIS BEFORE. BUT EVEN TODAY, THIS IS STILL WHAT MY HEART WHISPERS.

"CUANDO DE AMOR NO ES LOOCURA NO ES AMOR." IT IS SAID THAT WHEN LOVE ISN'T MADNESS, IT ISN'T LOVE. HE HAS RETURNED. AND MAY IT BE KNOWN TO YOU... THAT HE IS MY ONLY MADNESS.